My Friends

I'd like to introduce you to my friends. Mostly I see my friends when Z and K go galivanting off on yet another dog-unfriendly event, or when they disappear off on their overseas hols.

MUM: aka Zoé, aka Z.

Z.'s great because she's my Mum & feeds me & takes me for walks & brushes me & combs me & baths me & cleans my ears & gives me treats. Best of all, if I'm really good, she gives me smoked pigs ears as a special treat. Sometimes if they're really hairy pigs ears she pretends to wear them just to gross everyone out - tee hee!!

ASBO: aka Strider, aka Pete.

The Ancient Silver Bearded One's married to the Ancient Non Bearded One & he's also my Mum's Dad. ASBO's great because when I go to stay he'll anounce to ANBO that he's taking the hound for an evening stroll & we set out for a nice walk. But after a little while ASBO imagines he's Strider from Lord of the Rings, and before I know it we're forging the pass at Box Hill & hastening to the rescue of several pints of real ale encarcerated in the Inn of the Prancing Pony (Weavers Arms). Of course, I'm happy to play along, 'cos everyone in the pub makes a big fuss of me & I get thrown lots of treats under the table.

ANBO: aka Pat.

The Ancient Non Bearded One is married to the Ancient Silver Bearded One & she's also my Mum's Mum. ANBO's great too, because whilst Z. was away I used to get sad and squeek a little - especially a night - so ANBO would cuddle me and make a big fuss and then I'd feel loads better.

K: aka Keith, aka K.

K.'s not around much, usually only for 2 or 3 Digs dinners a week (that's about 2 to 3 human days). Then, when he returns home, he bowls in like he lives here, jumps straight into the bath & insists Z. brings him copious amounts of tea!! K.'s great because when we go out for a walk, I pull on the lead really hard and then Z. tells HIM off - she says 'You're soft on that dog' - tee hee!!

DEAN: aka Dean.

Dean's great because he sometimes comes and takes me for really long walks with the ball slinger and a tennis ball. I'm forever losing the ball, so Dean then feels guilty & buys me another - tee hee!! Also, Dean likes a drop of brandy, so when he comes 'round in the evening, K & Z offload as much of the cheap brandy from the tacky Eiffel tower bottle as they possibly can, because no one else will drink it - tee hee!!

LOOMA: aka Looms.

Don't see Looms that much - probably about once every dog bone (that's about 2 human weeks). Looms is great because he lies on the floor with me & we sniff the carpet together - which affords me the opportunity to stick my tongue in his ear. He doesn't care - I once heard him say 'Any lovin's good lovin'.

CAPTAIN: aka Stinker Stanshall.

Now the Captain turns up roughly once every 2 Digs baths (that's about every 3 human months). He's great because he feeds me all manner of naughty treats like sausages, pate, pork pies, scotch eggs & the occasional piece of steak au poivre. Trouble is, when he's left to dog sit he insists on getting up really early and dragging me along to boot fares - luckily this wears him out and we're both back home snoozing our heads off by around mid-morning.